All is not well in Cluny Kitchen. As a result of swingeing cutbacks, our motley band of cuisinieres have been forced into cooking 'variations on a potato' al fresco - and outdoors!

Head chef and former hit-man for the Pontypool Tufty Club, Brian 'the hat' Williams, spoke off the record earlier today.

'I'm bored, I am.' he said.

A simple man, with few enemies and even fewer friends, this latest setback has hit Brian hard.
'This setback has hit me hard.' he shared. 'I've tried explaining my position to the ruling elite, but no one listens to me...'

I'm afraid we didn't catch the rest.